I was pleasantly surprised to find that good friend John Wiswell over at Bathroom Monologues bestowed upon me the Versatile Blogger Award. He also added some nice comments, all of which are unnecessary but highly appreciated. Had he told me his intentions in advance, I might have given him a few more unnecessary comments. :)
According to what I surmise, the recipient is to share seven "unknown" personal facts and then to pass it all forward. So, in a theme of "I never tried that again," here we go...
- At the age of four (or maybe it was five), while living in Colorado Springs, I had a neighbor girl over for a play-day. On this day, she and I decided to explore and watch each other "potty." Suffice it to say, my father, a bible college student preparing for the ministry, was not as amused as I was, and after a stern lecture, along with a bit of corporal encouragement, I never tried it again.
- During the same age, I scared the pants off my parents when another friend and I climbed through a church balcony window and stood the edge of the roof looking down at all the people on the sidewalk below. Another stern lecture, with my father probably having doubts about me living in a parsonage, and I never tried that again.
- At the age of thirteen, while living in Michigan, I was visiting a friend down in the Pontiac area. After watching him roll down a hill on his BMX and jump off a ramp, I decided to give it go. After pulling the handle bars out of my chest, the pedal out of my leg, and then staggering around with no air in my lungs, I was certain that I would die at any moment. I never tried that again.
- At the age of eighteen, after a night of working at J.C. Penney's in Overland Park, Kansas, I decided to take my Toyota Corolla for a thrill ride of slides and spins, through the fresh snow in an empty parking lot. In the excitement, I completely forgot about the sidewalk that divided the parking lot in half. Four replaced rims and an empty wallet later, I never tried that again.
- At the age of twenty, while living in Fort Worth, Texas, my boss and I took a road trip to the border town of Juarez. Wanting to explore life and see some "dancing girls," we asked a taxi cab driver if he knew where we could find some action. Several twists and turns later, zipping down alleys and completely lost as far as I was concerned, we finally stopped at one of the brothels John mentioned in his blog. After a few minutes, seeing as how we weren't spending any money, the establishment kindly escorted us out. I never tried that again.
- At the age of twenty-one, still sowing my oats as it were, I decided to take on a bottle of Glenlivet. After losing miserably, and then having to clean up a nasty mess in the bathroom, I never tried that again.
- At the age of forty-two, now living in Lubbock with a my wife and two kids, I looked at the prospect of remodeling the kitchen cabinets for my wife and told her, "I can do that." Several weeks later, with my lungs full of sawdust (and primer and paint and glaze and sealant) I finally finished. I can tell you now I will never do that again. In the words of Dirty Harry: "A man has to know his limitations."
There. I hope you learned a little more about me and enjoyed a few laughs at my hard-knocks education.
For my recipients, I would like to honor Linda Simoni-Wastila, whose blog is a virtual potpourri of poetry, flash fiction and personal stories.
I also want to honor good friend Paige over at Paradise Valley. Just like Linda, Paige's blog is a mixture of poetry and personal stories. She even has a secondary blog where she has posted a photo a day.
Again, my personal thanks to John Wiswell for his thoughtfulness. If you haven't been by his blog, or by Linda's or Paige's, then I recommend you do so.
Until next time...