Thursday, August 27, 2009

#FridayFlash - "Gone"

At first Brandon thought it was a joke. He opened the box of cereal expecting to find another typical gag, like the slimy crawler you could fling on the wall and watch it flip-flop all the way down. Or maybe the miniature comic book with the same pictures of the red-headed kid getting sand kicked in his face. Today was different. The scrap of paper identified it as a Magic Transporter Ring. The instructions read: “Just point it at an object and think Gone.”

He slid it on and made a fist, thinking he was sure glad his sister Danielle wasn’t around to see this. First, she would howl. Then she would tell her friends, and it would be all over the school.

What happened next, though, left Brandon holding his breath. He saw a flash of light, followed by a loud, sucking Schoop!

Brandon didn’t know where he sent Mr. Tibbs, the family mutt, and come to think about it he didn’t care. As long as that stupid dog was gone, never again to hike its leg on the corner of his bed, well that would be all right. In fact it would be down-right coolio. Of course, he needed to think up a good explanation to give his mother.

Just as he working out a story, Danielle came into the kitchen. She crossed her arms and gave him the familiar pissed-at-you scowl.

“I’ve had it with you always taking a whiz with the toilet seat down,” she yelled. “How would you like it if you had to sit on that stuff? As soon as I find mom I’m going to tell her ev—”


This one is a little different from my usual stuff. I hope you like it, though.


  1. That's great, right up my demented little alley!

  2. I'd like to think she was sent to some sort of hell dimension. What? Just me?

    Good work, though! I actually laughed aloud at the end. :)

  3. Schoop! That's just the right sound. :)

  4. Haha, awesome! I wonder where they went and how long they will stay... oh my imagination is running wild :-)


  5. Funny ;-} I so could’ve used a ring like that when I was a kid. Heck I wouldn't mind so much to have one now especially during rush hour traffic

  6. Heh-heh - sweet!

    I like it when you stretch... Peace, Linda

  7. Cute story - short but sweet! Schoop! Making the rounds on #fridayflash - I read your story "Pure White" also - very well done, gave me chills.

  8. First time I've visited, but loved this story...darkness and humor, what fun!

  9. I like the sound effect...Schoop! Way Cool!

    Next flash has to be where they went! Sequel! Sequel!!! :D

  10. Heh. Charming, twisted, and funny. I love it.

    Now, I'm going to buy some cereal and see if I can score me one of those rings. I have five siblings....

    Nicely done.

  11. A very good example of excellent flash fiction.

  12. Great story! I remember as a kid thinking it would be nice to be able to do that. But then worried that I would do it too quickly without thinking of consequences.

  13. I'm sorry for getting back to everyone a day after the fact. Yesterday was a full load.

    Laura: I don't think your alley is little. I've seen what you write, and your alley as big and wide as mine. ;) Thankfully, there are more of us in this world. :o

    Juju: A hell dimension... That's a good idea. ;) I'm glad I gave you a laugh.

    Alan: Thanks for stopping by. You've paid me a great honor. BTW, I love getting lost in your lyrical prose.

    Tomara: Thank you for the kind words. I'd love to see what your imagination could come up with.

    Paige: I agree. I sure could have used one of those when I was a kid. Maybe this is a my own little catharsis? ;)

    Linda: This year has brought plenty of stretching. I'm glad you liked it.

    PJ: Thank you so much for the kind words on this little piece, as well as "Pure White". That one was completely different from my usual stuff, and the stretching paid off. I'm glad you liked it.

    Shannon: Thank you for stopping by. I'm glad you liked it.

    Ganymeder: A sequal? Wow, I'll have to consider that. Maybe I can stretch this one out a bit, like Jeff Posey and his Anasazi stories. Hmmm...

    Netta: Thank you for stopping by. Like you, there are times when I still wish I could score a ring like that... for some of my co-workers. ;)

    Chris: Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. I'll venture over to your story sometime today. There are so many this week. :O

  14. Matt: Thanks for stopping by. This is why we have fiction, so we can act out our agressions and not worry about the consequences.

    Not really. I'm not that crazy. But it sounds good anyway, doesn't it?

  15. This could go on and on. What happens when Mum and Dad start asking difficult questions......Schoop! Good fun this.

  16. Dan: It would be some good fun. Just think of all the possible victims... uh, candidates that could be sent on a field trip into the fantastic. Thanks for stopping by again.

  17. Hi, Stephen. I'm a bit late but better late than never, right? I'm still making the rounds.

    I loved this story. Part of the enjoyment is imagining where Danielle and the dog went. Well, at least she has a dog with her. Maybe mom and dad soon, eh.

  18. Wow, nice! Very short, but with a ton of story packed in. I shudder to think of the fate of anyone to make this little dude mad. The world is going to be a little less populated.

  19. Loved it, Stephen. Although I do feel badly about the dog.

  20. Oh! That's just twisted!

    And beautifully too. I laughed when I hit the end of this. This was glorious fun - and so perfectly tight.

    Nice work.

    PS - where can I get one of those rings? >:-}

  21. Jon: I'm glad you stopped by. The list is so extensive this week, I don't think I've covered all the bases yet. I'm glad you liked the story, albeit a little whimsical when compared to my other pieces.

    Eric: Yes, isn't it interesting how the true character is revealed when someone finally has the power? Unfortunately, Danielle found this one out the hard way.

    Greta: You feel badly for the dog and not the sister? Now, that's funny. Still laughing.

    Kevin: Thanks for the nice comments. Considering my other pieces, all of which have bumped up against the 1K-word ceiling, I decided a shorter piece was in order. It still needed to have a punch in the end, though, and I'm glad you liked it.

  22. a. What brand cereal do I buy to get one?

    b. WHy do the guys always have to put the seat down, why can't the girls put it back up?

    c. Great story! :)

  23. Wonderful stuff - simple, clear, and fun.
    And Schoop is a fabulous word.

  24. Bishop & blogginginthedark: I thank both of you for stopping by. The impact that both the ring and the sound have made has been a wonderful surprise to me. As for how to get one: I'm afraid there only is one, and you'll have to take away from Brandon.

    If you dare. ;)

  25. I know you already know this, since you already said thanks, but I gave you the Kreative Blogger Award. Now you are supposed to give it to seven other deserving bloggers and name seven mystery authors you like. Somehow I don't think you'll have any trouble coming up with that list of authors. ;) Congratulations, you are one creative guy.

    Oh, yeah, you can pick it up here: